More about Me

1. I was made in Hong Kong. That's why I'm so cheap.

2. I have a lousy sense of humour which gets me into trouble with people who suffer from IBS

3. No offence

4. I spent my childhood being carted round the world due to my Dad's job in the Army. I hated this. We were always posted in an army camp which was usually ten miles away from civilisation. Friends were always being posted hither and thither and I have no lasting childhood friends. We never went anywhere or did anything and my only memories of my parents were of my mother being depressed (due to intense home-sickness and lonliness) and my father thinking we were part of his regiment who he could bark orders at. Am I the only person in the universe who *wanted* my parents to divorce?

5. I cannot remember much of my childhood. Some psycho-babblers might think I'm repressing stuff, but actually it's because we did nothing. I'm saving brain space by deleting that white noise of my childhood. Memory starts from 21 onwards.


6. I have no desire to leave UK and "see" the world. Worked around USA and decided to come back as I just love England.

7. But not Spalding

8. My favourite colour is green.

9. I don't eat well.

10. My favourite pass-time *used* to be sleep.

11. Isn't that ironic.

12. The funniest word I remember from my education is "wanderweg".

13. I believe that after I learned to read and write all my "educators" may have well been shot. I remember nothing of value from my "education".

14. I have two siblings. One of each.

15. When I was four years old I used to pretend I was adopted and one day my real parents were going to come and get me. I think it was one of the ladies out of Charlies Angels. Or CHiPs. Or ABBA. I wasn't too bothered so long as she wore lip-gloss.

16. I hate people who say "42" when I ask them "what is the meaning of life - why were we created". It used to be funny. Now it isn't. Move on, people. Invent your own funny lines.

17. I can wiggles my ears. One at a time. Whilst raising one eyebrow at a time. I could do it to music and carve a career for myself in a freak show. I am a freak.

18. I don't like music.

19. I don't own a TV

20. OK get over it.

21. With me, what you see is what you get

22. You don't get much.