Saturday, November 05, 2005


is the only word I can utter. Others include, "Urgh" "Hmph" "Ur" and "Nng" and anything else that requires no use of facial muscles. I am soooooooooooooooooo tired.

Sooooooo tired. Zonked from cleaning the house for Eid. Zonked from the frenzy of Eid. Zonked from having Jaws wake every hour on the hour the whole of last night.

This must be nipped in the bud. This must be stopped. He must know that the umbilical cord was severed 4 months ago and under no circumstances whatsoever is it to be reattached. The floor is a good surface. It is good to lie there a while. You don't need to be constantly jiggled to be happy. You don't need to be in your mother's arms/lap to feel contentment. I will NOT strap you to my back. I will not do it. It. Will. Never. Happen. Not only because I suffer from Labyrinthitis and the possibility of falling and smashing your skull in or smothering you is a very real possibility, but also because I NEED BOTH MY ARMS AND I LIKE GOING TO THE TOILET IN PRIVATE.

Yes, I know some people in the under-developed world strap children to their backs and get on with life. Last time I looked they were the people breaking their necks to get into this place so they can shove their kids in childcare and have a life. My husband is African. So is my MIL - they say the only women there who ever strapped children to their backs are the women who never let the babies learn the hard way that Mum is a human being free to come and choose as she wishes and LET THEM GET OVER IT THEIR OWN WAY.

So I envisage some crying in the next few days. But it needs to be done. I can no longer go through the day waiting for my DH to come home so I can rugby-pass the baby into his arms. Bubba must learn to appreciate the ascetics of furniture and CAN IT.

Must go dress children. Hurty thing in face. Must take big pills full of white man medicine.



At 9:54 am, Blogger milkmumma said...


you can't do *that*

i'll sort you out with a wrap that is so snug it won't matter if you fall over!

oh, poor mummy.
i'll carry him?????lol

the ones i have held on to are turning out to be the most confident and independent. could be a fluke i guess.
i know i am in the minority with my opinion here, so that's why i am expressing it - you will have loads of responses that it is, in fact, your body, your life, your space, your choice (which it obviously is)
but the baby is also our responsibility, and *young for such a short time*. they can only cry when they feel bad. who else is there who can make *them* feel safe and secure.

it isn't fun holding a baby whilst going to the toilet though, is it!

very bad summary of what i am thinking.
better way to put it is that mothering is hard and *crushes* our nafs - that's a good thing apparently.(she says wincing).

At 10:20 am, Blogger Qalballah said...

Hey, I said I wanted him to get used to being put on the floor for a while - not that I was going to put him in a cage under the stairs til he was seven. Children do have rights but last time I looked they were: to be fed, treated gently, given shelter, to be played with, educated and have a good name. No where in any book have I read a fatwa that includes: to be in physical contact with at all times... and it ain't gonna happen in this house. It never happened with Boss and he is very independent and secure.

OK being frightened and needing a cuddle is one thing, but being bored and whiney and can't think of anything better to do than use Mum as a donkey is another thing altogether.

I am NOT into attachment parenting and I still consider myself a fairly loving mother with crushed nafs. But I need sleep. The sleep deprivation is causing irreparable brain damage which could have long lasting implications on my mental health and relationship with my children. I NEED to be able to go into another room without being harranged and gerotted. Is that too much to ask.

I love them. I love my space too. And I don't go out partying and working. I

At 3:42 pm, Blogger Hannah said...

LOL. I'm torn here.

I've gotten more 'AP' with each child.....not through any kind of concious descision, just sort of accidentally.

Sometimes Samee *has* to sit in his cot whilst I bath the girls because it's a safe place for him to be. Sometimes he cries but I know his cries and they are not 'I'm frightened' cries, more sort of 'I'm not happy my independance has been cramped' type cries.

Sometimes I need to cuddle and give my other children time and one-to-one attention so he has to deal with it. They are equally deserving.

But he is a baby and has not yet realised that I do still exist when he can't see me so I try to take that into account and not put him in a postition that will frighten him.

PS he's still in our bed!!!

At 9:53 pm, Blogger milkmumma said...


(that's a cheerful cry of support and excitement - i really shouldn't be unleashed on this computer. i can't take the strain of how i might be unwittingly interpreted!)


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