Wednesday, April 20, 2005

What else

Boss has started that phase... you know, the one which demarcates his move into childhood from baby-dom. Everything now is not "how", but "why"?? So far the questions haven't been too alarming and the answer "I don't know" will satisfy, but I am dreading the "Magnus Magnusson" era when "pass" is not an option....

So, we have pretty much established that I have no penis in any shape or form, but now why don't I have a willy wonka then... crikey, because I'm a girl?? Will that suffice? Phew it did.

I mean, as someone who has a degree in Philosophy and Sociology I can take the more metaphysical approach if he so desires, and "why don't I have a willy" could be the start of a whole new topic on existentialist questions. Which I think a 3 or 4 year old would deeply appreciate... it would be quite an interesting exercise. I am sure the LEA would be running for the hills if I took that route. He already has started talking about "death", but I think he is enjoying the reaction of people frightened by it rather than deeply pondering the ins and outs of it all. But it has got us into the "good life" area of moral philosophy at any rate, but perhaps he is still too young for Wittgenstein just yet. Shame.

Last year we were "doing" the tree topic - and he learned the fact that when you put seeds into the ground they turn into flowers or trees. One day his Dad was late home and Boss asked where he was, to which I just bit the bullet and told him his Dad was at a funeral. So what was a funeral. Well a man is dead and they are putting him in the ground to go back to Allah to answer for everything he has done with his life. Stunned silence. No... not quite understood you, Mum. Where's Dad. Same answer. Same question again. Same answer again. And so on for half an hour - which only finishes when he consolidates this information with "Man dead?"..."yes" ... "Daddy putting him in ground?" .... "yes".... *cogs working* ... "He grow into a tree later??". Plus the fact that funeral cars go along our road almost every day means that Boss has been introduced to the reality of death and the Qur'anic verse "Everything that exists will one day perish, and the only thing that remains is Allah" from early on.

Now he tries to make people cry with it.

He says, "Mummy... your nana is dead". Well, yeah. I'm over it. Hm... no reaction. So who's next. "Mummy, you will die soon". OK. Any particular preferences where you would like to be brought up then? OK so that didn't have Mum bawling either. The phone rings, "Nana... your nana dead?" ... "You what, son? What did you say?" *I explain*... "Oh yes, pet. My nana died a long time ago".... "Nana... you're going to die soon".... can you imagine the reaction to that??!

Hm...

He also knows about Jannah and Jahannum, and has introduced this into his playtime with his cars, especially police cars. "I arrest the bad people" .... "Are you, darling?"... "Yes, I'm taking them to Jahannum". Good grief. Bit drastic - wait til the Court of Appeal has OK-ed that first, yeah.


So if Boss accosts you and tells you are going to die soon don't take it personally. I mean, you are, but he's not pyschic or anything....

7 Comments:

At 8:27 am, Blogger merry said...

I think Fran and Maddy could give him a run for his money anyway. They've both done death fairly solidly... lol. Maddy is still at it "Daddy, HOW did your mummy die? Why did your mummy die? How old were you when she died? Were you sad? Did you cry?"

Yeah yeah, you aren't going to make him cry darling... he hasn't cried for 25 years. Its interesting though, because the two girls have appoached it very differently.

Am i your most avid reader? Does that mean i should go do something else do you think? :D

 
At 9:51 am, Blogger Qalballah said...

I think apart from me you are my only reader :P

Yes, it's a nice day - go and sort the allotment out - WHEE for sunshine!!

 
At 2:28 pm, Blogger Allie said...

I'm an occasional reader too - not just when I'm complaining! Tend to get stuck on the MP ring and forget to go elsewhere.

Both my kids have gone through phases of talking a lot about death. Because my sister died when she was twenty they have always been aware of this family member they hear a lot about but have never met. Death is a great taboo and adults can get very tense when children talk about it.

I read a lovely book with my kids a while ago called 'Beginnings and endings with lifetimes in between'. It had wonderful illustrations.

 
At 2:38 pm, Anonymous writer_within said...

I want to say what I read was very funny...but I feel that saying so will mean I am not taking the whole notion of death seriously. It's just children make me giggle at their innocense. I especially like the part about the tree growing. I would have not been able to contain myself. Did you crack a smile? Now I have a dd who is 3 1/2 and we purchased three fish...which all died. And I just didn't know how to breech the subject with her. I said they got sick and had to go away. Now I feel rotten because I feel like I have missed an oppurtunity to discuss death in context...and I also feel I wasn't very truthful. Anywhooo....there will be more fish and more oppurtunities. Jazakallahu Khairn.

ummhana

 
At 6:37 pm, Blogger Aoife said...

Super cool blog, I am enjoying it. Thank you!! :) Visit if you like at http://aboulemania.blogspot.com

Ummhamza

 
At 6:44 pm, Blogger Qalballah said...

No I find it hilarious. Sometimes I really struggle not to laugh in his face. I did nearly swallow my tongue trying hard not to laugh when he asked if the man would turn into a tree later....

You know the thing with death is that they *have* to know. Now my son goes round with a sing-song voice saying "everybody is going to die soon - everybody is going to die soon", which for us is like a dhikr but for my parents (who aren't Muslim or anything) this is a total freak-out - it's like he's ruining their self-imposed state of delusion and bursting their bubble. Oh well... a bit neurotic anyway to try to deny death so it's their issues not mine....

 
At 7:56 am, Blogger Hanane said...

Absolute love the post. Reminds me of my lovely son now 10, who still has a morbid facination with death and dying. We are taking a flight next Friday and I am sure he will talking about plane crashes on the way to the airport!

Hanane

 

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