Quote of the Day

Conversations can be quite odd in this house anyway, but I think we have firmly established that Boss is car crazy. His point of reference is vehicles. So when you are explaining anything it has to be in terms of cars. So a Wildebeest's hooves are like it's tyres, and it's breathe is like it's exhaust pipe. Yes really.

Anyway latest bizarro-world conversation has run like this:


Boss: Is that my Car Door seed?

Me: What?

Boss: *pointing* is that my Car Door seed?

Me: What??

Boss: *raising voice as though I were deaf and/or stupid* Is. That. My. Car. Door. Seed?

Me: What are you *talking* about??

Boss: *agitated* My Car Door!

Me: What Car Door?????

Boss: *Pointing* Dat one

Me: *Looks, but sees nothing* What car door??????

Boss: *Agitated and frustrated* DAT ONE ... THERE... *points to something I can't see* THERE THERE THERE MY CAR DOOR SEED!!!!

Me: *Starts to panic thinking Boss is quite clearly nuts and hallucinating* Which car door. Show it to me. Show Mummy.

Boss: *beside himself with frustration* THERE!!!!!!

Me: ..........*looks and can't see anything and starts racking brain for helpline numbers and/or sedative suppliers* .... .... ... ... I can't see a car door, I'm sorry.


Boss: *almost in tears* THERE IT IS... MY CAR DOOR SEED. YOU GROWING IT FOR ME. MY. CAR. DOOR. SEED.

Me: *looks and almost smacks the back of my son's head for wasting my time* M, that's an AVOCADO seed.




Pillock. Where he got this Yorkshire accent (with Swedish intonations to boot!) I'll never know.... hmmmmmm