Saturday, February 04, 2006

These pills...

... kick ASS. They ROCK! I have never felt this good since..... ... ... ever. Now, that either means my depression wasn't all that bad so that is why the pills are working quicker. Or it may mean I was so bad that I have noticed even a small difference. Whatever. I am so full of internal glee it makes me want to bite myself. I am *happy* - actually *happy* - I *laughed* this afternoon with Boss - I played and cracked a joke and PMRFLOL at it too. I looked up and saw relief and delight and tears in the eyes of both my favourite men (Jaws just looked at me and squealed) - and I laughed again. Omigod - how low was I??? I think I was as close as you get to the edge without falling off and was starting to slip. I was taking my family down with me for sure. I think if I hadn't got the Doctors when I did it was going to be severely worse very quickly. It amazed me that I got an appointment as fast as I did for my GP too - usually its a three week wait and I got in in one day - everything is from Allah. Doors open when you need it.

I am glad I am feeling OK this afternoon. This morning when I took the first one I think I hit a slump - no St Johns Wort and my dizziness came back with avengance, I felt ill, tired, depressed, low, on the edge, nervous, couldn't move my arms, and the thought of having to wait a few weeks to feel any different had me in despair. Another day of that would have had me ringing the doctors for either valium or hospitalisation. Then I started yawning and yawning and yawning and when I stopped (still yawning a bit) I had my brain back. It's just unbelievable. Now all I can think is - why did I wait so long to get better??

PND is so misunderstood.

So, what to do with my new found brain. Hey - might try and have a conversation with Dh later. Read a book. Stare into space without seeing the view shift. Oh the possibilities are endless. May take a spin in my mean machine LOL (no really I just LOL how weird is that) [btw maryam got the welding done today - £250 shriek!! good job you got a new car when you did, eh?]

Just hope these pills dont make me paranoid or something like that... ever the worrier. Off to go and tickle Boss now. Please keep us in your duas/prayers.


At 5:26 pm, Blogger LMM said...

£250????I was driving it yesterday,thats crazy,was it urgent?I feel awful.Did bil not tell you how much it would cost.So anyway how did it feel to drive it?

At 6:20 pm, Blogger Qalballah said...

No no its fine. We took knewing it needed welding and welding *is* expensive by its very nature. It wasn't urgent urgent but once the body starts to 'go' it can deteriorate rapidly so best to do it while it doesn't need too much doing to it.

Havent driven it yet as not insured yet and was loopy all morning anyway.

Bit nervous - ooh er.... ;-)

At 9:32 pm, Blogger merry said...

So glad to hear the world looks better. I know that feeling so well.

At 5:14 am, Blogger Tasmiya said...

Alhamdullilah, this lurker is very glad to hear you are feeling better. May Allah continue to keep you happy always.

At 9:00 am, Blogger Qalballah said...

Ah, that's nice. And you. Amin.

At 5:22 pm, Blogger TwennyTwo said...


The yawning is a side effect of the pills. It's one I tolerated well, though. And darn sure easier to take than that bleak, black, dark, down downdown feeling.

Although it is disconcerting to have to explain why you're so tired every day to a bunch of eighth grade students when you haven't figured it out yourself. That was funny.

Mabruk, hope you feel even better!


At 2:33 pm, Blogger Maryam said...

Woohooo (I'm a bit behind on my blog reading). Lots of happy noises. There is definitely light at the end of the tunnel :) :) :)


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