Saturday, February 25, 2006

Without drawing breathe

Boss can prattle none-stop somewhat in the same way as a hummingbird flaps his wings.

The latest "conversation" has run like this:

Boss: Mum, you putting me in school?

Me: *prolonged silence* ... would you like to goto school?

Boss: No.

Me: OK *prolonged silence* Are you sure??

Boss: Yes. *plays quietly for three seconds then:* You know if I went to school why I don't want to goto school? Well, because I won't be able to do SALAH, I'd have to come back in my car at zuhr and pray in the mosque with the men and go back to school. *makes engine noises* then I'd SMASH into the traffic lights and SMASH into the pedestrian crossing and turn the corner and skid on the road going a little bit up on the pavement, but I wouldn't kill the lady with the pram, then I'd SMASH into the other traffic light and if it was red I would go but if it was green then I wouldn't and if the other drivers beeped their horns I would SMASH them and they would be so frightened that they would go "I want my Mummy this boy is so big" and then I'd turn the corner and drive up there *develops mad glint in his eye* and reverse back and SMASH into the level crossing and if the train come I would SMASH it into pieces - a hundred million three pieces, and if there were cows there I would scream at them and show them my teeth like this *snarls* and they would think I was a Daddy lion and then I would go here and turn up there and when the light said "go" I would SMASH into it I would. And the car would go *wobbles head* like that. Then I would put my lights and indicators on and drive backwards and people would say "get out of the way get out of the way" and I would drive so fast its unbelievable because I just LOVE going fast I do. And then when I got round the corner I would find the school and then remember I left my leapPad and so I'd have to go back again and SMASH into the lights and SMASH into the pavement and SMASH into all the people. And then you know what? When I get back to school? It would be time for Asr. So I'd have to go back to the mosque and *breathes* SMASH into the shops and SMASH into the lights and SMASH *my brain goes numb and I faze all noise out whilst finding my happy place* ... blah blah SMASH blah blah SMASH blah blah SMASH blah blah. OK Mum??

Me: Huh? Um? OK son. If you say so.

Boss: *gets up and re-enacts the scenario for me*

*I day-dream of home-educating my children the waldorf way*


At 8:46 pm, Blogger Hannah said...

Did he learn to drive from you?!



At 3:06 pm, Blogger Qalballah said...

Oi, cut it out.

Did I tell you what he said the first day we went driving though? I was just coming out of our road (the court) and was still getting use to the car (after nearly seven years without driving!) and Boss kept prattling and prattling and I said rather harshly "Oh SHUSH!!", then he looked a bit crestfallen and I apologised and said, "I'm sorry M, Mummy isn't angry with you I'm just a bit nervous and I need to concentrate". He said "What does nervous mean?" so I tried to think... "um...... it means..... um... a bit like being frightened". I turn around to look at him and he smiles a silly grin and says with his eyebrows raised, "I'm a bit frightened too!!"


Instills confidence that does.

At 4:13 pm, Blogger 4 girls and 3 boys said...

Has he been on our D's x box game? That is cars smashing into this, that and the other. Look on the bright side - least he didn't hit the lady with the

At 8:29 pm, Anonymous elderfairy said...

ROFL! You have totally inspired me to place a post about 'Willow and the onions'... a conversation that I still cannot imagine happened really, but did. So funny, you really had me laughing.


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