Friday, July 08, 2005

I feel a little shell-shocked...

...was Boss this un-put-downable?? I can't quite remember. I dunno if it's PND but I get waves of complete emotional break-downs. Since Mum and Dad went home I feel quite lonely; hardly see DH except to rugby-pass the children onto him whilst I whimper in the corner. I can't get my head round anything. I have so many things to do and I can't remember what they are or when or how I'm going to do them. Then there's the guilt - I'm a lousy mother, this is true, but I feel it acutely with Boss who is so patient and placid masha'allah and keeps hinting that he wants to goto AWorld, see Aunty K, "We haven't seen B in a long time" etc etc. It wouldn't be so bad but I've been in home confinement since about May when my legs packed in so we haven't really done anything or gone anywhere. Now he just wanders around aimlessly hoping one of us will take pity on him and let him in the garden or something.

I'm such a mess. And my nipples have no skin on them. Jaws won't be put down without a fight. I haven't cooked anything since.................................................... there you go.... we are living off jams sandwiches and biscuits.

Still haven't found a Dr. to do the snip and am getting quite narked at this as it should be done before 40 days are up - Boss was done at 18 days and here we are with Jaws 11 days old and nothing even close to organised. There is a Dr. in Luton who is the nearest we have found, but I am not really up for travelling with a toddler and a baby who has just undergone an operation... I hate this place.

When do baby's get into a routine? How do you get one to sit and not scream??

I'm such a mess and I'm taking my family down with me. Please make du'a for us. Especially Boss who's taking the brunt of all my dysfunctions. As usual.


At 7:20 pm, Blogger merry said...

In 2 weeks time this will feel very different. When he gets to 10lbs, this will feel very different.

Your nipples do not deserve to have no skin. There may be/is almost certainly something someone can do to help - can we get you a bfing counsellor? Can one of us come and offer any help or support?

Hang in there. 2 is different, but you can do it. Jam sandwiches, to the best of my knowledge, do not kill people.

At 7:32 pm, Anonymous hannah said...

We offered to's not too late....don't be so bloody English ACCEPT SOME HELP.

As far as babies go B was def the hardest. My mantra was 'this is for weeks, not years' and I'm sure the only thing that kept me sane (sort of!)

Doctors...try your G.P? I'm going next week and actually from what I have discovered any doctor worth his salt should not be performing this type of proceedure without knowing the babies medical history. That doctor I nearly got never asked whether S had any issues...and as it happens hydroceles and circs don't go very well in making the hydrocele loads worse. Go bend your G.Ps ear off.


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