Spent most of my day
saying "no". A LOT. I really don't understand my son. Well, yeah I do but the hard reality is that he can be impulsive and hard-headed and stubborn. Most of the time he is a pussy cat but today he tried to take his Dad on and he has shown too much temper for my liking.
I don't know.
On the one hand I would like to have a child I can educate and take to all the educational things and events - get involved in HEing properly, and on the other hand I know that for a long, long time these things just aren't open to him fully. He needs open space, rhythm, simple open-ended tasks which involve no fiddly bits and sit down concentration. He needs no distractions if he is to do something for longer than two minutes. Because really what he wants more than air to breathe is an assing-about bunch of maniacs like himself to wrestle and test his boundaries with.
And on the one hand I want to put my hands up and say "OK, roam free - explore your nutter side", and on the other, I so dearly want him socialised so that we can access all the things that other children access and appreciate and get involved in.
This sounds dramatic, but for example I have been looking at the piccies on other peoples' blogs about recreating the Henri Rousseau painting, and it looks like such a fulfilling and rewarding exercise - all pitching in together to make a work of art, but all I can think when I see this is - how did they get the kids to sit still long enough to DO that, how did they MAKE them do it???
And of course the answer is - the kids wanted to do it and enjoyed the workshop. For us that would have been a few hours of me screaching "Stop it! Put it down! Don't pull her hair! Say sorry".
I get bored with that.
I like circle times. When we do them. I like getting out into a big enough space to let out steam (which, incidently doesn't let all his steam out - he still has PLENTY left at the end of the day). I like our play now - it's very good masha'allah. But I am itching to do more...
When do they have ADHD, and when is it just being a boy??
posted by Unknown @ 8:03 pm
10 comments
Diary
10 Comments:
could some of it be to do with being a 4 year old boy? Not so much of the boy and a bit more of the 4? Although I will comment that my 2 1/2 year old boy is *nothing* like his sister was at that age - she didn't *bounce* in the same way that he does.
Good to have you on the ring - thanks for moving the ring code.
LOVE that you are on the ring. Have been reading your blogg before hand and found it very stretching. Reading your blogg is like having icy spring water suddenly thrown in your face, it's (scuze the cheese) 'refreshing' with a warm, slightly surprised glow afterwards. This was Compliment #1. Do expect others. I will follow your blogg with avid interest.
Wow compliments and stuff! Can't handle that ;-)
Well, Boss *does* sleep masha'allah. So it can't be ADHD then. Just being a boy then?? Although mine can't sit still unless he's plugged into his leappad - and then its not for long.... *shrugs*
I too have known lots of kids of four who really hated sitting still. At our HE group we always have opportunities for people to rampage about and no pressure to do 'sitting down' things at all. When I used to help out in a reception classroom some of the poor little things used to tie themselves in knots, squirming around, trying to control their urge to move. Lots of physical energy is normal in young animals isn't it? Kittens are always crazy little things - never still.
Our dd has always had boundless energy - clambers up door frames and banisters for relaxation - and she is nearly nine. I think some people are just like that. When she was a toddler we used to take her to run in the park in the driving rain - it was either that or she just never slept!
Well without the benefit of hindsight and any older children I am relying on people with older kids to tell me its normal. I am glad it is. Bouncy kids seem to be frowned upon in this society who seem to view the ability to sit still for six hours at a desk as something enviable.
Yes I thought taking him to show how other kids did it might rub off but actually I think he just annoys other kids and disrupts their concentration, so that's not really an option either.
Yes he is a physical animal for sure. I just want him well-rounded and be able to join in *if he chooses* rather than be led by this innane urge to bound about.
He is better than he used to be, so perhaps there may be a time he will calm down insha'allah.
Getting him to sit and draw is useless - he can't be bothered with it. His drawing ability is chronic and as such many tasks that require some form of written/drawing/craft element are ruled out too.
Oh well, if the LEA ever pins me down and asks what my educational action plan is I'll have to tell them - letting him run in open space til he's nine???
Having older boys (that spent their earlier years running manically around) it could well be that he is 4. That said, both of my elder two are dx. on the autistic spectrum - but I still think that a part of that is because society likes to bash square pegs into round holes (and Erk has really calmed down and doesn't climb lamp posts and cars anymore).
Anyway, it's lovely to see you on the blogring :0)
And thanks for the link!
from the waldorf perspective he shouldn't be xpected to sit for a long while yet, unless he does it of his own accord.
from an unschooling perspective the weaving could be viewed as stifling their creativity. maybe each child would be drawn to a different artist, would prefer to draw, paint, etc instead of weaving......
from a hormonal perspective he is four and having a HUGE SURGE of testosterone
from an islamic perspective he still needs good adab
from a waldorf persepctive (again) it is through example,( and we so so so underestimate this, really, really deeply), that he will be guided through this phase.
from a mother perspective. i have NO IDEA, but it changes, eh! they do not stay the same for ever. embrace his loveliness and enjoy his company!
if he had a problem it would be likely that you would have a big hunch that something is not right. if you have, then maybe there is something that needs to be looked into. i will *never* tell you it's because you are tired again. wink.
got lots more ideas from the waldorf perspective.lol...
yeah I do worry, but thats because although he has a good heart is just HURTS people by accident non-stop. even himself! Honestly, he can walk into a room with nothing in it and hurt himself. The other day we were walking down a path and he said "Ouch!" 'what have you done?' "I hurt myself" *looks around and sees NOTHING to hurt oneself on, 'How???', "I bite myself".
Its not really him, its reactions from others that i dread. although I do find him tiring sometimes. Its easier if they have a label - people can then nod their head and go "oh, right yes I see"... I just have to say sorry a lot.
And now I see the beginings of another nutter in the making with Jaws. *shriek!*
To dotty just for you ;-)
That's wonderful! It is a great toy - ours gets lots of use too - it can also make good caves/houses for toy animals, etc. (as Nin likes them for).
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