Sunday, July 31, 2005


So anyway...

... Boss and I were in the garden and I had the camera and decided to shoot him talking to me - for the memories etc etc as his voice is changing and I'll forget how cute he is now when he's 14 years old and never washes his armpits and doesn't grunt two words to me all day, and he was babbling away about rainbows and water and sunlight and tractors *shrugs* and then he just started talking inane 3 year old nonsense with words that sounded Spanish and Chinese at the same time, pointing into the distance, asking me the same thing over and over (and over) again, but I having no answer since I did not know what a "Klangsh" was and Klingon is not my native tongue, when he turned to the camera and said "Show me it, Mum". So I did. He watched himself intently. Then he creased his face into a frown. Then he looked at me. Then back at the camera. Then at me again and said, as though he was disgusted: "What am I *talking* about??"

Now he knows how *I* feel all day...

From my window

Boss: Mum, can I have a duck biscuit?

Me: A what?

B: A duck biscuit.

Me: *Not quite sure I was understanding him* A duck biscuit??

B: Yeah

Me: A duck biscuit??

B: Yeah

Me: What's a duck biscuit??

B: You remember? We had dem the udder day?

Me: No.

B: You remember?

Me: No.

B: You not remember the duck biscuit with the paper on?

Me: *Conversation getting more bizarre* No

B: You not remember the duck biscuit the udder day?

Me: It had paper on???

B: Yeah. You remember now?

Me: No.

B: You not remember the duck biscuit and it had paper on and it had chocolate inside and you said "wipe your hands" and it went all round my gob??

Me: *Lightbulb goes on* Ooooooooh!.... You mean a "Penguin biscuit"

B: Yeah. Dat's the one. Silly my billy...

We now call them duck biscuits...

Cotton, fluff, skin, gunk, passing debris, roman coins, Lord Lucan...

... all these things were found in the creases of my son's neck and arm pits, which has only just come to light in view of his absolute loathing of having his arms moved and neck washed. I couldn't believe how dirty he was!

OK I lied about the coins and Lord Lucan.

Plus, having shaved his head a couple of weeks ago we are now having regrowth resembling Velcro and as such absolutely *everything* is sticking to his head - he has so many feathers currently dotted all over he could pass for a chicken. Might turn him upside down and try and use him as a hoover tomorrow. Could work wonderfully - let him earn his keep...

Thursday, July 28, 2005

I think I'll rename this blog..

... "A housefull of nappies" .. or ... "My baby never sleeps"...

Sunday, July 24, 2005


... can't think of a title for this one.

Been marvelling at women who want more and more children, recently. Like I was saying to K yesterday it makes me feel as if there is something wrong with me - I don't *get* the maternal urge for a household brimming with kids. ... I mean ... I just don't *get* it. I see people with 6 kids and my first reaction is, WHY?? when you don't *have* to... why do it?

Or have I missed some point in all this?

Or do I need female hormone injections? Or a 'cluck' button installed that gravitates me towards finding children cute and not hard work?

*Shrugs* Is there anybody out there who has more than two kids who can explain this mystery to me? Why have more?

And maybe that makes me ungrateful as perhaps now you think I have terrible children and nothing could be further from the truth - I have two angels, masha'allah - very easy to raise - blessings in every sense. You'd think a woman with two great kids would just want to keep going til she hits a dud, but no... I just don't *get* maternal instincts... which means *I'm* the dud...

... I knew it all along

Anyway, my baby seems to like being held by everyone except me as it instigates instant 'omigod she nipped me'-like shreiks if I have the nerve to try to interact with him on any level above shoving a (sore) nipple in his Dyson mouth... maybe I smell of milk... or maybe he just doesn't like me... *Shrugs again*

I have no jilbabs that open at the front which means breastfeeding is going to be a pain in the bum if I don't slash some pretty soon. Or maybe this is a sign I should bottlefeed... :P

Actually, it's amazing how many times a day I tell myself I am going to start bottle feeding him soon... at the last count it must be close to 278 times so far... the only thing that stops me is him sleeping... I am *so* not an earth-mother....

Child Benefit... must remember to pick up the forms;
Circumcision - must get it confirmed (we are going with Khan from Derby - the week Hannah rang he was on holiday and doesn't answer his phone til 8pm at night because he is so busy. Due to lack of options we are going with him insha'allah. Sort the campaign out Hannah... :P);

I have so many lists of things to do!! Argh!

Friday, July 22, 2005

I wanted to blog something...

... but by the time I reached the PC I'd forgotten what it was... damn.... I'm doing that a lot :S

Hm... anybody know of anything I can take to help a breastfeeding child who gets stomach cramps?? I need a machine that can de-wind him ... I would pay good money for a machine that could do that...

Boss is being very testing. I dunno - it's like he *likes* being yelled at, or something... I have been trying a bit harder to be more understanding, patient and playful (thanks for the lend of the book btw), but all it does is add to his quest and desire for complete and utter 100% adoration and devotion. The trouble is he thinks he's an adult and we are his subordinates. ... we called him Boss for a reason - he thinks he is. *Sigh*

Oh well.

I'm willing babydom away - is that bad? *Sigh again*

When I am out and about again do I have any invites from people who remember me to come and pay you a visit??

Monday, July 18, 2005

Yes, I have read a book. It turns out I am not allergic to books if my nipples are at stake (the greater need outweighing the lesser). It's even rubbed off onto other books too - I managed to read a Waldorf book on education - well a few chapters! I am so impressed with my little self masha'allah... all without hyperventilating.

Anyway, can anyone lend me "Playful parenting" - I think I need the quality of that title right now. I have forgotten how to play with Boss and just end up barking at him throughout the day... *sigh*

Also, any tips on how to get a three year old to give some of his toys away. Subhan'allah, he has so much stuff that we really need to whittle away the baggage before my house explodes and Boss becomes so grossly materialistic that narcissm sets in before he hits 4 years old. Everytime my parents come they bring him stuff and I want him to just get stuff at Eid!! He has so many toys he isn't playing with any of them nor looking after them either - "bin it" is his answer to broken toys... hm... He has more toys at three than I ever had throughout my childhood. And I am not exagerating either.... so tips please...

No I don't want a wardrobe, mysterious wardrobe-giver-away-person... thanks for the offer.

Baby awake, nipple must be rushed to his gob ASAP.

Oh, shaved his head today too - aw....

Saturday, July 16, 2005

And this link

Waldorf Homeschoolers


For those doing life cycles. I may make an effort to do a cursory topic with Boss on this, seeing as it is quite appropriate right now. We do the life-cycles of bugs so why not us:

Human Embryonic Development

And I found this site which you've all probably all seen. Haven't had time to really appreciate the usefulness thereof...

Waldorf Links
More Links
A Waldorf Homeschool Diary
And finally...


A hearty jazakillah for the books you lent me (seems like months ago but must be only 2 weeks). I don't think I would have made it this far without them, especially with so many "other" views constantly on offer about bottle-feeding etc etc ... La Leche book worth its weight...

Please come and visit me soon before the garden weather breaks...

*Weary wave*

It's an amazing feat when you can reduce an adult to being dazed and confused by 11am and you are only two weeks old yourself.... as far as I can tell we like to be held almost constantly with a nipple in gob if at all possible.

Stuff that for a game of soldiers. Screamfest as I had the audacity to try to *rock* the darling to sleep in his car seat rather than my arms, and to have a dummy rather than the real thing. I won. I think. Well... ... ...

I am still feeling lonely now parents have gone. DH is really helping but it's not the same as having family around. There's an African saying, "It takes an entire village to raise one child" and here we are trying to do it alone. Been trying to convince my Mum to live here.... I can but try ...

Anyway hope you are all enjoying the weather... what's it like *wane smile*??

Khadijah - I have my phone plugged in but not heard you ring, soz. Been calling you too but you must be getting out a lot. Or hiding. *Shrugs*

Wednesday, July 13, 2005


What's going on in the world??!




Tuesday, July 12, 2005

My brother

was evacuated from King's Cross just after the explosions last week. He was getting on a train when people started rushing down the platform telling people to evacuate; whilst they made their way towards the buses the Tavistock bus blew and they were evacuated from there too. One heavily pregger wife in tears til he rang home. Another case of what is written is written, but what I want to know is - why did it take this long for me to find out??? You gotta say we're a family who don't keep in touch much....



Monday, July 11, 2005

My garden

Health Visitor just been and gone

... Jaws gone from 7lb 14.5oz to 8lb 11oz.... masha'allah. Worth the sore nipples, I'd say.... I think he's bringing more milk in cos I just CAN'T PUT HIM DOWN AT ALL NOW!!!

Sunday, July 10, 2005

I really miss Boss

... he's here but I have no time for him. Alhamdulillah he's been kept busy by parents when they were here and now DH, but I miss him all the same - we used to do *everything* together; funny how you miss the mundane stuff when it's gone. Oh well... I'm gritting my teeth and chanting the mantra "it won't be like this forever"...

Two weeks old today.

Friday, July 08, 2005

I feel a little shell-shocked...

...was Boss this un-put-downable?? I can't quite remember. I dunno if it's PND but I get waves of complete emotional break-downs. Since Mum and Dad went home I feel quite lonely; hardly see DH except to rugby-pass the children onto him whilst I whimper in the corner. I can't get my head round anything. I have so many things to do and I can't remember what they are or when or how I'm going to do them. Then there's the guilt - I'm a lousy mother, this is true, but I feel it acutely with Boss who is so patient and placid masha'allah and keeps hinting that he wants to goto AWorld, see Aunty K, "We haven't seen B in a long time" etc etc. It wouldn't be so bad but I've been in home confinement since about May when my legs packed in so we haven't really done anything or gone anywhere. Now he just wanders around aimlessly hoping one of us will take pity on him and let him in the garden or something.

I'm such a mess. And my nipples have no skin on them. Jaws won't be put down without a fight. I haven't cooked anything since.................................................... there you go.... we are living off jams sandwiches and biscuits.

Still haven't found a Dr. to do the snip and am getting quite narked at this as it should be done before 40 days are up - Boss was done at 18 days and here we are with Jaws 11 days old and nothing even close to organised. There is a Dr. in Luton who is the nearest we have found, but I am not really up for travelling with a toddler and a baby who has just undergone an operation... I hate this place.

When do baby's get into a routine? How do you get one to sit and not scream??

I'm such a mess and I'm taking my family down with me. Please make du'a for us. Especially Boss who's taking the brunt of all my dysfunctions. As usual.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

I'm having one of those HE panics again...

... except I'm not really panicking, just being realistic. Boss is bored out of his head and I can't be everything he needs. He needs a group of friends his own age to ass about with, be stupid, fall over and make idiot faces with and to interact and learn from. I'm a mother, and no matter how good a mother you are you can't ass about with a three year old the way they want without one of two things happening - 1) you either go mad with boredom, or 2) your house falls apart. And I'm not up for either.

Perhaps it would be different if I had a car as then I would be able to get out and see the world. Being in doors is hard.

Anyway, I have noticed Boss is bored out of his head; I did some letters with him today after eons of nothing, and he really took to it, and I could literally see cogs working. He was really content afterwards as well.

I was thinking I need to put him into pre-school, because they will have the time to teach him things I have no patience for.... which, at the moment, is just about everything.

I'm also a bit hacked off with how hard it is to find a decent Doctor for circumcision here. Given then amount of Muslims there are in this area you'd think after like 30 years of being here they'd have gotten stuff like this sorted out. I hate it here.

Saturday, July 02, 2005

Quick blog between demands on my breasts...

... sounds exotic that, doesn't it? Hm.

Anyway. Past week been a bit of a blur really. I've cried a lot. Khadijah patted my head a lot. Parents looked suitably doting and sympathetic a lot and Boss has been bossing everyone around a lot.

For those who want to know the details of labour - a quick summary: As you may remember the little fella was not in a hurry to come out; after ducking the Maternity Unit's "request" that I be induced at day 10 I managed to hold them off with daily visits to the ADU for monitoring and patronisation with one or two emotional pressure tactics thrown in for good measure (soon stopped when I said "I'm feeling a bit pressurised actually and I don't like it; I am going home RIGHT NOW before one of us demands to see the Administrator and gets someone sacked"... I was rather stroppy right at the end - like a lion with a toothache :S). Anyway, on Saturday 25th my waters broke and by Sunday morning nothing had twinged. So panicking (as baby hadn't moved) I went to Delivery and found baby OK but nothing shifting. So I was induced - contractions started at about 8pm, they wheeled me into the Charlotte Suite at 8:38pm (thinking they were going to be giving me a nice warm bath for pain relief HA HA), by which time I was screaming for gas and air, and by 8:58pm the boy was born. It really hurt and they were still trying to pull bits of my placenta out an hour later - then they gave me a drip which I had to have til 5am the next day - ouch again - then Monday 10am I went home with an awed Boss and clucky husband.

Alhamdulillah. Boss ever so proud and is very upset by all the adults telling him to be careful with the baby. He wants to kiss baby all the time and hold him, tell him stories etc.

Hubby been excellent masha'allah I wouldn't have coped without him *sniff*. He's been doing everything except feeding the baby - which has been having me weeping and gritting my teeth. I've been growling at Boss. It's been horrible. I.a. things will settle down soon.

Anyway, please make du'a for us.


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