Friday, April 29, 2005

Lame joke... *shrugs*

Q: How many women with PMT does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: One

Q: Why?

A: Because IT JUST DOES, OK???!!

You know, stories like this always make my husband laugh. Only in England, he says, would people immediately rush to save the life of a snake. You know what they do everywhere else? They stand on them then throw them in the road to make sure the cars flatten them; snakes, as an African proverb goes, can never make friends. It doesn't matter how much love and devotion you show them, eventually they always bite the hand that tends to them.

I know some people like that, too...

I am soooooo tired...

Right well where were we?

Had visitors in the morning and it was nice to be able to just sit in the garden and watch the kids "play" (well, size each other up if I'm honest...). Boss had been forewarned that I would tolerate no nipping, pushing, shouting, hitting over head with cricket bat or general nastiness of any sort and the other little boy had had a pep talk too so for the first time since I can remember they didn't take hefty chunks out of each other and his mother and I actually held a conversation which lasted for more than a minute!! Hurrah!

Didn't make it to MuddlePuddle thingy, but I really hadn't planned to as I woke up at dawn with incredible period pains/cramps and spent most of the day rubbing my lower back, breathing IN and generally worrying that sprog had heard me moaning and decided to make an appearance. Still not 100% actually, but a bit better alhamdulillah. I think actually the baby has gone head down today because I can definitely feel little feet pushed up there. So perhaps that was what all that was about today. Hope I am feeling better by tomorrow as I have guests and I am sure they don't want a rendition of my Sumo Wrestling technique!

It should be nice to see my brother and his wife. I haven't seen them since she got preggers... Oooohh defintitely feet - stop it .... the funny thing is that they are older than me but keep asking for my advice LOL (little do they know that I actually ask Khadijah for eveything myself!!) and I'm feeling quite matronly around them. Crikey. Since when do I know anything about kids!!

Boss is excited about seeing his Uncle again (he's only woken up every day this week and asked, "is Uncle coming today???"). So I expect some pretty intense male bonding going on tomorrow. Which should leave us ladies time to discuss maternity dresses :P

Went a bit cold turkey yesterday and today - there were no Polos in the house at all and Hubby was away all afternoon and early evening and didn't get me any. So it wasn't til 4pm today that I got my mitts on some - and do you know - I was shaking opening the packets! All of a sudden I instantly calmed and something in my brain "twanged" back to normal and the tetchiness was gone. I was actually suffering withdrawal symptoms - how bad is that?!

Car news: alhamdulillahi rabbil 'alameen - we got a car yesterday very, very reasonably priced. *Dances the merry dance of joy* - it is like a normal car in all respects - it goes forwards *and* backwards; it has seats and the belts to go with them (diagnal ones too boot!); it has windows; it has a stearing wheel set at the right alignment; the lights aren't cracked; the number plate isn't hanging on with cellotape and flapping in the wind; the tyres aren't bald. Plus, it isn't an import so parts are readily and cheaply available insha'allah and the insurance should ergo be much, much lower. I am so alhamdulillah-ing that I could have kissed it. Need to insurance-shop on the net tonight insha'allah, but I shall gladly do so with a joyful heart *wipes a tear from her cheek*... Boss likes it too.

Anyway, my walking ability has been further dented by today's gymnastics (baby's - not mine) making walking up and down the stairs excruciatingly painful - du'a please :S
And I know people think I am actually making excuses when I say I can't do certain things or go places 'cos I can't walk, but really I can't. And I'm not stupid either - I know exercise is good, and I know that I can walk slowly if it helps, but please, please, if you don't want your head bitten off, don't suggest these things to me - walking slowly doesn't help and exercise is just jarring my joints to shreds. I walk to a standtill getting to the top of the garden and I can't even shuffle properly. Old age is really going to suck you know that? It is literally like walking on three spikes - two in my hips and go figure where the other hurts... if I could walk on my hands I would!

Definitely feet....

Khadijah - Sofa

It is quite low seated but there are no cushions to come off so ideal for the kids to climb over (not really the point of having it but hey ho). Hubby looking for a new (2nd hand) set so we might also be getting rid of the other sofa too if you are interested in that? You know what that looks like - kinda a brown, but has cushions that *do* come off. V. annoying. Let me know.

Thursday, April 28, 2005



And stating the obvious...?


Pollutants 'damage men's fertility'


But.... but ... HOW??!

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Advance notification ya muslimeen: SUNNIPATH WEBCAST



Tuesday, April 26, 2005


Monday, April 25, 2005

Hubby quote of the day...

..."I have a feeling something is going to happen"....*What do you mean you 'have a feeling'??*.... "I mean I have a feeling - you know, like a fifth sense...." ...


*Fifth sense?? What - you like, smell something is going to happen??*...

Yet another confirmation of why I never listen to him...

Having issues with

... blogger and the car AGAIN. Blogger is just a tempermental blog tart and our "car" (I am sure there are rules under trade & descriptions about cars having to have certain elements before being labeled a "car" - you know, such as an engine that *works* for example) is still intermittingly sulky and I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF IT. I told my husband today I do not want to see this car again. Take it out and shoot it but do *not* bring it back to my house. But he did anyway. Apparently nobody wanted to nick it - don't blame them. We are still waiting for a crate load of cash to fall out of the air - or a free (working) car with no faults. Anybody?? *Sigh*

So. Did naff all again - why is it when your husband is under your feet the day just seems to drift? Played in the garden then in the house then in the garden then in the house. Then bed.

Last year we had a patch of clover in our garden which was literally nothing but four and five-leaved. Yes, honestly - five leaved clover was growing in such abundance that I said we should make a business out of it - you know - sell it on eBay or something to stupid people who believed in talsimans of various descriptions. People look for four-leaved clover for years without finding one - and here we were falling over them all!! But alas my hubby said we couldn't sell it as it would be haram in that we would be selling talisman and promoting shirk (he's such a stickler for the no-shirk thing :P).
Anyway, today he jokingly said, "Ok we've hit rock bottom let's sell the clover - ooh look here it is - three leaved clover...". And I thought this is our problem - too little too late and we never get it quite right.

Anyway, I had to inform my hubby he was wrong on all accounts - it isn't three-leaved clover that people sought after, but four-leaved ("Oh"), and we hadn't hit rock bottom at all - we hit rock bottom about 5 years ago - now we were digging the rock and hitting gas pipes.

Sunday, April 24, 2005

LOL got this from Merry's site :P

If you want to see my full results (which don't fit nicely in this template and I can't be bothered making them fit):

Trait snapshot: clean, organized, dislikes chaos, semi neat freak, perfectionist, traditional, realist, fits in most places, enjoys managing others, risk averse, good at saving money, prudent, respects authority, high self control, hard working, does not like to stand out, follows the rules, finisher, resilient, takes precautions, cautious, honest, unfamiliar with the dark side of life, practical, dutiful

Angels of Dhikr

The World of Angels by Sheikh Abdul Hamid Kishk

"The Messenger of Allah (saw) went out to a circle of his Companions and said, 'What is it that has caused you to sit together?' They said, 'We sat down to remember Allah and praise Him for He has guided us to Islam and been gracious to us.' He said, 'By Allah, is that the only thing that made you sit together?' They said, 'By Allah, we sat down for that reason alone.' He said, 'I did not make you swear out of any suspicion of you, but Jibril came to me and reported to me that Allah Almighty is boasting about you to the angels.'"

"O you who believe, remember Allah repeatedly. And glorify Him both morning and evening. It is He who calls down blessing on you, as do His angels, to bring you out of darkness into the light and, to the believers, He is most merciful."

(Qur'an 33:41-43)

Watching TV may speed up puberty


How to Know If You Are Ready to Have Children

Found here

I. Mess Test:

Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flowerbed and rub on the walls.
Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

II. Toy Test:

Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos. (If Legos are not available, you may substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles.) Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream (this could wake a child at night).

III. Grocery Store Test:

Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

IV. Dressing Test:

Obtain one large, extremely annoyed, live octopus. Stuff into a very small oil-covered plastic sandwich bag, making sure that all arms stay inside.

V. Feeding Test:

Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a stout cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal ( such as Fruit Loops or Cheerios) into the mouth of the jug while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.

VI. Night Test:

Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and filling it with 8 - 12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly with water. At 8 p.m., begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9 p.m. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10 p.m. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these, too, until 4 a.m. Set alarm for 5 a.m. Get up and make breakfast like this for 5 years. Look cheerful.

VII. Physical Test

A. Women: Obtain a large beanbag chair and attach it to the front of your belly. Leave it there for 9 months, then remove 10 of the beans.

B. Men: Go to the nearest drugstore. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.

VIII. Final Assignment:

Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training, and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasise to them that they should never allow their children to run wild this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.

Another day of hypermode...

... and I HATE it. I think, though that I may beginning to see a pattern. Yesterday he was just the usual angel he always is but emotions were running high. I think when he sees me very upset he internalises that and it comes out later as this manic, hyper behaviour. It's stability-based. So no pressure, then... *Sigh* I just pray that Allah protects him. Amin.

Anyway, today apart from manic, hyper Boss - it was very sunny if a bit windy and we spent most of the day in the garden again. He played cricket with his dad and managed to hit the ball so hard it went into the neighbour's garden - over a 6ft high fence and some bushes! So his dad had to ask "can I have my ball back"... which was cute, until the neighbour's decided to pretty much get in our face and spoil it all. *Sigh*

My heartburn is back - it actually woke me from my near-coma last night which is astonishing given how I knock out these days. Woke to feel my back on fire. Good job new stocks of Gaviscon had arrived that very day. Peppermint flavour this time - was getting a bit addicted to the other one :S

I'm feeling the need for more education structure again - we've been letting everything slide since the onset of good weather - and I really should plan ahead for when the baby drops and I'm too sleep-deprived to know whether I am wearing my underwear on my head or my skirts inside-out or have impaled forks in my arm to actually plan activities with him etc.

I want my Mum to live round the corner. I can't think of any other human being I would like to live so near as she is actually the only other person I would regard as useful and trustworthy - and someone I would have no problems asking for help from. I am so *English* about seeking help from other people. Especially if they have their own kids etc. But alas! she is 250 miles away and isn't budging. She asks why I don't go live up there (Cumbria). Because I'm MUSLIM and I don't like being spat at duh. Cumbria isn't actually very cosmopolitan in any shape or form. You get beaten up if you wear a different-coloured shell-suit so imagine the joy in the local's faces if they saw me wafting down the road!! There are Pakistanis and Arabs that live in Cumbria, though, but not enough of a presence to make a huge impact and not many are practising Islam and they are all spread out over a massive geographical area. No mosque etc etc.

Mum's answer to all these drawbacks? Stop being Muslim then!

An article from the Telegraph which is another nail in the coffin of me ever wanting to send my kids to school. I really am angry about the state of sex education in this country and as an ex-teacher I know more than most. I don't want to start that rant as my heartburn has just triggered off again *sigh*, but generally I think that teachers are amoral or down-right immoral and that what passes for sex "education" would, in any other context, be seen as child abuse by any sane adult. Yet you can't say that, of course, as you are branded a bigot or a prude or a fundamentalist rather than simply an objective observer who sees debauchery prevalent everywhere and is heartily *sick* of it. Another good article to consider.

Right then, nearly time for the sunset prayer so better be off.

Saturday, April 23, 2005

Just wanted to say

... that I am finding the title "German Shepherd" for the new Pope quite amusing... :P

OOh plus

Here is an example of how Boss tried to write his own name, unprompted by me, all by himself :D It was written from right to left, so he's obviously writing the Arabic script here ;-)

And a truck *shrugs*

Boss liked it :P

OK Pictures and stuff

Haven't had any piccies here for a while, ey? Thought I'd do some of my garden. You might not be impressed, but I was thinking of really some 'before' and 'after' shots - these being the 'before my garden bursts into wild-garden heaven-type frenzy insha'allah'. Plus I love BlueBells and they were very late this year - glad they are all here - must be my favourist flowers (that and freesias which I go dotty over). Enjoy the meagre offerings:

US police handcuff five-year-old



How computers make kids dumb


Row over secret classroom filming


Friday, April 22, 2005

The "why" thing continues...

... unabated. And I like it so far, but sometimes I just don't know all the answers even to mundane questions.

Bath-time tonight ran something like this:

Mum you see my willy wonka? *yes there it is* You see my belly-button? *yes* You see my belly-button? *Yes* You sitting down - you see my belly-button from der? *No...(sits up) yes there it is*... Mum why you sitting... *I'm lazy* Why? *Because I'm tired* Why you tired? *Because I have a baby in my tummy*... Mum you see dat shower tingy (thingy)? *yes* We didn't have a shower before *No we didn't* Why didn't we have a shower tingy before? *Because we just didn't* Mum you see dat light? *yes* You turn it off? *OK (click)* Mum, what's dat? (points to the switch chord for the shower) *It turns to shower on and off* Oh yes now I remember. Mum, what are all dem buttons on der shower? *They're buttons which switch it on and off* Oh yes. Mum what dat clock tingy in der middle? *That's the temperature dial* What dat BE?? *It makes it hot and cold* OK. Why is der red and blue on der tingy? *Because it means it's cold one way and hot the other* OK. Why?

Then he tells me "Mummy. ... um ... ... um... um ... ... um... um ... ... um... um ... ... um... um ... ... um... um ... ... um... um ... ... um... um ... ... um... um ... ... um... um ... ... um... um ... ... um... um ... ... um... um ... ... um... um ... ... um... um ... ... um... um ... ... um... um ... ... um... um ... ... um... um ... ... um... um ... ... um" .. OH FOR GOODNESS SAKE WHAT???

"Mummy...... um ... ... um .. I have... ... um ... ... um.... snot water tingy!!" *You're nose is runny??* Yes, dat's it! Silly my billy! I forgot - my NOSE IS RUNNY...

Not much to tell

Still haven't shopped *sigh* need to sort my camera warranty out *sigh* my house is a mess *SIGH HYPERVENTILATION STYLE* and I've ran out of polos. Again.

But the up-side is we have spent nearly two days solid out of the house and in the garden :D What is it about fresh air that is so exhausting??

Anyway, the car saga continues - not only do we not have any seatbelts in the back of the car (well OK we have one but it doesn't move, so effectively NONE), not only is our back windscreen obliterated and covered (still) with a plastic bag, not only are there no cars of this model in the UK at all thus meaning no windscreen to buy (even if we had the cash), but on top of that for two days running my dear husband can't even START THE CAR IN THE MORNING ANY MORE!!! So if this isn't a sign from on High I don't know *what* is, so: get the message hubby - this car needs dumping - pronto.

Spent the *entire* day scouring auto trade ads and generally realising how low we have actually sunk. I mean, alhamdulillah for everything. But you know.... we have a car with bald tyres, tesco bags for windows and engine intermitent sulkiness... I know there is barakah and wisdom in this and I haven't yet sunk into the "well I'm buggered if I can think what it is" mentality, but cars are a bit of necessity when you are about to sprog and stuff... so make du'a please if anyone out there cares...

What else. Hm... we are having issues with sand in the sand pit. In that it isn't. So not really a sand pit. More of a pit. Surrounded by sand. Good news is that Tesco (not they are not paying me to mention their name so many times) sells playsand for £1.98!!!! Which I think is reasonable to say the least. Still would like even cheap sand to remain in the pit... I think I'm losing on this point drastically so will cut my losses and leave it from now on. So anybody who wants to send their kids to my house to put sand all over my garden are more than welcome to do so... *grinds teeth*

And seedlings. No they really don't need a welly-boot imprint on them, darling and I am tired of saying that over and over as well. Resorted to screaming GET OFF THE FLOWERS EINSTEIN, and now Boss goes around asking, "What Einstein be???" Oh well, better than calling him an idiot I suppose.



Wednesday, April 20, 2005

What else

Boss has started that phase... you know, the one which demarcates his move into childhood from baby-dom. Everything now is not "how", but "why"?? So far the questions haven't been too alarming and the answer "I don't know" will satisfy, but I am dreading the "Magnus Magnusson" era when "pass" is not an option....

So, we have pretty much established that I have no penis in any shape or form, but now why don't I have a willy wonka then... crikey, because I'm a girl?? Will that suffice? Phew it did.

I mean, as someone who has a degree in Philosophy and Sociology I can take the more metaphysical approach if he so desires, and "why don't I have a willy" could be the start of a whole new topic on existentialist questions. Which I think a 3 or 4 year old would deeply appreciate... it would be quite an interesting exercise. I am sure the LEA would be running for the hills if I took that route. He already has started talking about "death", but I think he is enjoying the reaction of people frightened by it rather than deeply pondering the ins and outs of it all. But it has got us into the "good life" area of moral philosophy at any rate, but perhaps he is still too young for Wittgenstein just yet. Shame.

Last year we were "doing" the tree topic - and he learned the fact that when you put seeds into the ground they turn into flowers or trees. One day his Dad was late home and Boss asked where he was, to which I just bit the bullet and told him his Dad was at a funeral. So what was a funeral. Well a man is dead and they are putting him in the ground to go back to Allah to answer for everything he has done with his life. Stunned silence. No... not quite understood you, Mum. Where's Dad. Same answer. Same question again. Same answer again. And so on for half an hour - which only finishes when he consolidates this information with "Man dead?"..."yes" ... "Daddy putting him in ground?" .... "yes".... *cogs working* ... "He grow into a tree later??". Plus the fact that funeral cars go along our road almost every day means that Boss has been introduced to the reality of death and the Qur'anic verse "Everything that exists will one day perish, and the only thing that remains is Allah" from early on.

Now he tries to make people cry with it.

He says, "Mummy... your nana is dead". Well, yeah. I'm over it. Hm... no reaction. So who's next. "Mummy, you will die soon". OK. Any particular preferences where you would like to be brought up then? OK so that didn't have Mum bawling either. The phone rings, "Nana... your nana dead?" ... "You what, son? What did you say?" *I explain*... "Oh yes, pet. My nana died a long time ago".... "Nana... you're going to die soon".... can you imagine the reaction to that??!


He also knows about Jannah and Jahannum, and has introduced this into his playtime with his cars, especially police cars. "I arrest the bad people" .... "Are you, darling?"... "Yes, I'm taking them to Jahannum". Good grief. Bit drastic - wait til the Court of Appeal has OK-ed that first, yeah.

So if Boss accosts you and tells you are going to die soon don't take it personally. I mean, you are, but he's not pyschic or anything....



Well of course nobody has told me you've sprogged - why do you assume anybody contacts me in any form or manner. When, how, why, when, weight, piccies, details, WHEN etc.

Thanks everyone for letting me know. Great ummah.

New link:
A Homeschoolpedia

Did nothing

...bad weather so just stayed in and played with doh, fuzzy felt (I will get my money's worth!!), cars, lego, more doh, cricket (don't ask), books and then running around the living room like a maniac when all else failed. Him, not me.

Started to instigate Qur'an verse teaching insha'allah.

Colour-blindness, thanks for the link Merry. Have been doing a bit of study on it and either Boss *isn't* colour-blind after all or it's mild or something else, because it doesn't seem to affect any other colour - just green. Which is odd. *Shrugs*

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Might delete this blog

after all. It's not educational or HE related. It's just a moanfest on legs.

Hm... just saw a van speed by with "Ahmed Brothers" on the side and I read it as "Armed Robbers" instead. Am I tired or what. Nice of them to be so honest if they are indeed armed robbers, though. And given how stupid the police are I think it's only fair they are given a head start...

Anyway, what else. Bought some "Fuzzy Felt" crapola today and I am *not* an impressed bunny - I have made much better felt shapes of my own for Boss ages ago and I cannot believe I was suckered into this purchase so if anyone out there is thinking of felt then DON'T. Just make your own shapes and give them a piece of sandpaper to stick it on. Also bought a buggy board after all. I'm trying to get most things from town that way I don't have to be driven anywhere in our butt-clench car. Oh I need to do now aswell. Grr.

Anyway, insha'allah I need to start teaching Boss some verses of the Qur'an. Might try that tomorrow insha'allah. I need to get these other influences into the background. Thomas the Tank Engine other leappad offerings are all well and good but not something which will ultimately benefit him nor something I want him memorizing at the expense of more worthy things. I am trying to get him to memorise short supplications, so far we have before and after eating covered masha'allah. Hey - any kid who can memorise Incy Wincy Spider, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and half the Gruffalo is more than capable of memorizing other stuff.

Remembering the hadith which states that "he who wishes for Allah's mercy should himself show mercy". Really trying to remember that with avengence today....

I'm just not middle-class enough for HE


Monday, April 18, 2005



Sunday, April 17, 2005

Did nothing all today. Garden, garden, went for a walk, garden, bath, bed. I hate the weekends.

Saturday, April 16, 2005


Well I think I'm already annoyed with this template already. Hm...

Anyway, went to Notcotts again today and bought some wild garden seeds and some compost. I know nothing about gardening and half the stuff in there is like for space-age gardeners who are serious about neat borders and things like that. Weeds? In their garden??!

Hubby made me laugh again today and once again it was language-related. He told Boss that the bumbles bees were "hoovering" (that's how he pronounces "hovering") near the flowers so they can go and make honey for us. So of course Boss thinks that the way Bees get the nectar is by actually *hoovering* it out and went to look to see the bumble bee hoovers.



Just messing about, folks. Normal service will resume when I'm bored of it. Maybe I'll just go back to the old one tomorrow.

Friday, April 15, 2005

POLOS... Polos... must have... polos

And there are none in the house. OOh hubby will get it in the neck later.

Right, well then. I'm tired. As usual. Boss ran himself into a stupour in AWorld today as I told him I wanted value-for-money this time - get climbing. He tried, but got "stuck" at the top of a ramp *rolls eyes* and then such was the knock in his confidence he didn't try again. But I know he *wanted* to. He said he liked it anyway, so that's good.


Sorry. Where was I? Boss screamed so much that his voice is all hoarse. I would say "aw" but it was nice to have a quiet(er) Boss at home :P Aw.

Must have... polos

Windscreen still smashed and no seatbelts in the back of car. Waiting for a crate load of money to drop literally from the sky. If anyone finds the crate, it's mine.


I prayed zuhr today at AWorld and I think I freaked some non-Muslims out who moved away really quickly from me as they must have thought I was talking to myself. Reminds me of something Sheikh Nuh said - that in Western society praying in public is the only thing considered truly obscene, and I didn't feel too comfortable doing it, even though I sat and prayed rather than prayed on a mat. Like when I went to the hospital yesterday for blood tests I took my tasbih with me (as usual) and when I started using it people suddenly gave me the oddest looks. I wonder why the sacred bothers people so much here?

This article made me think about this issue a bit more. Queen Margrethe of Denmark is quoted as voicing disapproval of "these people for whom religion is their entire life". Well, we all live our life for something, don't we? Why is it the mundane and profane are perfectly acceptable things to centre one's life around, but Ultimate Reality (or "god") isn't??

I have these issues with my family as well who are totally embarrassed about my Islamic identity. My mum has confessed "I wouldn't mind if you were Muslim so long as you didn't tell anybody"... *shrugs* ... and whenever I pray they act all embarrassed as well. My mum actually said "Oh I wish you'd be just like you were before you became 'Muzlim' (I hate it when people use the 'z' instead of the 's' to say 'muzlim' instead of 'muSlim'). Well, hark back dear Mother, that before I converted I was a die-hard communist/atheist punk who took no prisoners; I drunk too much, was depressed too much, I had ugly rings lampooned in my face, my hair was such a stupid shade of red that if I stood at a junction too long cars stopped and waited til I turned green, and I'm surprised I wasn't arrested and taken in for questioning by the fashion-police as well. She would rather I was a drunk and a rebel unknowing of when I would roll home and/or whether the police would knock the door rather than someone who tried to sort their life out.

Anyway, make a mental note *don't pray in public again*.

Aw, my dh has just walked in and given me some Polos. And it's raining outside and he walked all that way for them. Maybe he *does* love me after all.


Tuesday, April 12, 2005

And why it isn't...

Why bullies win

Panorama: Why bullies win
BBC One, Sunday, 10 April 2005 at 22:15 GMT

Panorama looks at the way we tackle bullying in schools - and asks why thousands of children are left with nowhere to turn.

Why School is Good for You

Found on the Bradford Muslim Blog:

The following has been submitted by Abrar al Haq, a young Bradfordian. It is the first in a series of posts that will focus on educational standards in Bradford.

Ten reasons in favour of public schooling

1. Children who receive a one-on-one home education will learn more than others, giving them an unfair advantage in the marketplace—this is undemocratic.

2. Most parents were educated in the under-funded public school system, and so are not smart enough to home educate their own children.

3. How can children learn to defend themselves unless they have to fight off bullies on a daily basis?

4. Ridicule from other children is important to the socialization process.

5. Children in public schools can get more practice “Saying No” to drugs, cigarettes and alcohol.

6. Fluorescent lighting may have significant health benefits.

7. Publicly asking permission to go to the bathroom teaches young people their place in society.

8. The fashion industry depends upon the peer pressure that only public schools can generate.

9. Public schools foster cultural literacy, passing on important traditions like the singing of “Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg...”

10. Home educated children may not learn important office career skills, like how to sit still for six hours continuously.

Families and stuff

Well I generally use this blog space to moan so why should today be any different. I have bad heartburn *again* and am actually developing a taste for Gaviscon which is rather disturbing, but the bad thing is that any form of even slight emotional iritant is enough for the acid to bubble over.

MSN messenger is playing so totally up that I'm thinking of scrapping it altogether and getting everyone I know onto Yahoo instead. *Sigh*

Forgot completely to call people I wanted to call today but that was probably due to my extreme tiredness which my hubby thinks I exagerate for sympathy purposes before he starts telling me all the ailments *he* has just to shut me up. Like we're on aggragate or something - he's iller than me, so I can't be and if I am then I must bear it quietly. But I *am* tired today and nearly fell asleep whilst Boss was playing with doh. I would have loved to have gone to the Park with everyone else but my uterus certainly didn't like the idea, my brain blanked the information out altogether and my stomach told me Tesco shopping was on the cards.

So off we all jolly well went to Tesco - what a gay time was had by all - what with the back windscreen obliterated to have been replaced by a naffing plastic bag, glass shattered at our feet, the gale whistling through our hijab (I say "our" since the boys were sitting in the front!) and no rear seatbelts to cling onto. Just one long butt-clench of a ride before having to trudge round the store with two males moaning "are we finished yet" every three seconds meaning I inevitably dumped the idea of food shopping and gave in after the bread, milk and biscuits. So pretty much everything else still needs to be bought and they can all eff off if they think *I'm* bleedin' well walking into town to buy it all and carry it back myself.

Then one looooooooooooooong day of nothing in particular apart from acid. Not the hallucinogen.

Monday, April 11, 2005

Liking this



Mere Islam

I've added a new box to the links section on the right.


Sunday, April 10, 2005

Unborn is going MENTAL. Like jumping-jacks on crack or something. Give it a rest - funnily enough goes very still when I want to show it to Boss. Aw, think I am going to have to prepare Boss for the harsh realities that new baby might bring - you know - that he might be knocked off the perch or at least have to share it. And I must tell him that Mummy might cry alot and possibly go a bit loopy for a while as well :-S


Slings - Kdj when can I get the lowdown on all that; I am so useless at domestic things and making decisions in general. Would like a sling I can breastfeed in leaving arms totally free to catch a three-year-old with. Plus must be able to sit them upright in it. Is that do-able??

Anyway, maybe I'll give Kiddicare a miss - just makes me want to spend more money.

Cluck cluck

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Never ever...

...under any circumstances whatsoever buy an import car. That's all I want to say. I may be back later.

Friday, April 08, 2005


OK here is my moan-list:

My bad hips are back. I can't walk to the end of the garden without my pelvis throbbing like it wants to crack open. I can't push a pram without stopping for breathe every four steps. I'm ergo crabby to my lovely son. I have received a letter telling me I have to go for a blood glucose screening next Thursday. More blood has to be taken. Twice. I have to be there for two frigging hours. Did I mention blood has to be taken? It does. Then in May I have to have another scan to see if my placenta has shifted. I am fed up of having to plan how to roll over in bed in advance of doing it. I'm fed up with people expecting me to carry on as normal when I can't actually move that well. I hate shopping. I hate food shopping. For some reason online Tesco shopping is not an acceptable option according to my hubby. Tough. Just this second had a phonecall from my GPs midwife who has been checking her records and wondered what has happened to me (I'm currently seeing the midwife at the SureStart building and have been all my pregnant life); assuring to know it has only taken her 7 frigging months to check up on my existence. Don't get frightened about the NHS - no, no, we are in safe hands. *Rolls eyes*. It's cold. I've lost ALL my gloves and I have bad skin. But that's not a big deal just an extra pin-prick of misery to add to my over-all moanfest situation. I have a bad back now as well. Moan.

On the bright side I bought Boss a cricket set today from ELC and he loves it and can hit the ball and giggles like a maniac everytime he does.

Ahhh, that's nice.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Just a shout out to K and LMM:


Right, well today: cooked, played with doh, went in the garden, went to Aunty H.O.'s mansion, gerotted her children, got a playhouse from her, and I have a bit more craze for Polos and mashed potatoe.

On a medical note my arm looks like the 50 pence bruise has actually turned into a collapsed vein, my unborn seems to have developed a penchent for raving to unheard music and my ears have tinnitus, which I'd ask for du'a for please.

I'm getting quite clucky now about the prospect of a new sprog, so I suppose that's an improvement in my maternal state. I need to buy stuff - don't know what, but I think a sling might be needed and a buggy board. A trip to Kiddicare it is then insha'allah :)

Boss loves his new playhouse that was generously donated by B and her Mum. Boss saw B's dad coming in the garden and flew into the house "Ders a man in our garden!!!" - "that's B's dad - go and salam him"... "Salam, brudder!". Apparently he likes B's dad because he has nice shoes.


And he likes B too - she is a "very, very nice girl - you know dat?". Yeah, well stop taking chunks out of her then. Aw, he did ask B very nicely if he could come again - he's never done that before. I think he liked the "park" sized garden very much - certainly knocks our strip of grass into a cocked hat!! Masha'allah.

The girl next door has now fallen in love with the playhouse and sits in it ordering Boss to the shops for eggs and milk, which M willingly does - he is the man after all and that's what Daddy's do. Aw. Then he "comes home" and she sits him down and they "eat". It's so sweet, masha'allah.

He told me today before he went and helped his Dad build the house that, "Mummy, my eyes are very tired, but my legs are not tired and my gob isn't tired"... hmm

Well, I'm tired - and I need some mashed potatoe...

Monday, April 04, 2005

Rain rain go away

remember that rhyme? Hm.

Anyway. Midwife appoint. today and I requested more info on home-birthing. Told hubby I might be interested in it. He looks suitably petrified as he remembers the last birthing experience and is a tad concerned for the neighbours and Boss' sanity. And I don't particularly want to get blood on everything. But nor do I want to goto hospital and be greeted by questionable butch ladies who I simply don't like the look of to give them the opportunity to patronise/bully me.

I had to have blood taken. It did not bode well when the ninny couldn't find a vein. "I'll have a go" was the nerve-racking answer - "er, do you know what you are doing - you aren't instilling me with much confidence. Can I deny this treatment please?"... "No, no, I'm very experienced and I know what I'm doing". OK.... so why do I now have a bruise the size of a 50 pence coin in my elbow pit then? Good grief - that's her just taking a thumbful of blood out - how the hell does she get the *kid* out??

Anyway - Boss can count to 12. Masha'allah. He knows a mixture of languages masha'allah even though some of them we didn't know he knew. He can count up to 10 in Arabic - ish. And I think, even though I don't know what the neighbours are saying, Boss has actually learned Punjabi from playing in the garden and listening to their, um, "conversations", and I *do* hope it isn't swearing...*sigh* All of this was gleaned in the last few days.

I am also seeing glimpses of the four-year-old to come sometimes as well. We are having quite interesting conversations now masha'allah. He said yesterday, "I saw a lorry on the side of the road today".... "Did you, darling? Why was it there?".... "It had broken down"..."Aw, it was broken down? Was it crying?"... (normal three year old response: yes, it was going boo hoo hoo/whatever. New response:), "No, Mummy. Lorries don't cry, actually. Lorries don't have gobs."

Stooopid me. Then he told me how articulated lorries "in the olden days" used to open and shut their cabs to reveal the engines "like mini-loaders"... "actually".


Sunday, April 03, 2005

And blogger is still hacking me off...

...why oh why does it eat ALL my posts?!

Boss quote

Following on from our willy wonka discovery (that Mummy doesn't have one), Boss was lying down for a nappy change this morning (haven't bothered night training him yet) and was looking at his prize possession, and said, "I have a big boy willy wonka", "Yes, darling",...."Mum, you don't have a willy wonka den?", "No, I don't have a willy wonka - girls don't have them".... then he screwed up his face and looked really confused and said, "Well.... how do you POO then??! *think he meant pee* ".... I really do struggle sometimes keeping a staight face...

OK so the Pope died

... and my parents and sister came for the day. Boss fell over and really damaged his elbow joint very badly. I did a lot of washing up. My Mum bought me new net curtains for the front room (*ahhhh so much cleaner-looking than the last ones - Khadijah have a look next time you pass - do they look better?*), and some more baby clothes (even though I told her NOT to), but these are yellow things from Next and a green ensemble from some non-descript baby-shop. She also bought Boss a new coat from Next. Hey - if it weren't for her my son would be dressed in Poundstretcher sell-offs the whole year! Ooh my Mum also bought me some ceramic pots for the garden and a conifer for one of the pots (*puts fist in air and says "YES" like Boss does*), gave us a tonne of seeds which they bought at Aldi for 29p!! (yes I did mention we went to Notcutts and left a pint of blood behind as payment for *our* seeds, didn't I???) and Oooooh I have some chocolate sitting on the bed too. Wait there.

Nice. And she also got us some lovely bed sheets. Aw. Bless her. And she bought Boss some cars. Aw.

Boss showed them all his LeapPad. Very good. They weren't allowed to touch it; no. They had to "sit there and watch me". Hmm.

Hubby watered the garden and we pretty much stayed outside all day. I'm pooped.

Saturday, April 02, 2005


Garden. House. Garden. House. Cut Boss' hair. Bath. Bed.

Sums it up. You??

This is a public service blog announcement:

Oh My God article

Friday, April 01, 2005

Another thing...

My parents are coming for a day again this weekend, insha'allah. Which is nice, but it means I have to *cook* for people and get my house looking nice-ish. I just don't have the energy and Hubby is building a PC and there are bits of metal and plastic all over the kitchen!!!! I'm soooooooooooooo tired.

Mum also wondered if she should come down a week after the baby is due to help out. She is planning on the baby arriving late like Boss. To be honest I haven't really thought about this pregnancy at all. I'm not in denial (bit difficult due to constant reminders) but I just don't feel "ready" for all the planning and organisation and life-changes ahead :(

Where do I want to give birth? Urgh
What pain relief do I want? Um
Who do I want to be present? Eh
What do I plan on packing in my overnight bag? Pass
What will the child be called? Oh c'mon
Is my birth plan ready? Wassat again

Until I see this sprog face-to-face I just don't think it will hit me that I've got to focus on it. I really hope this doesn't signal "middle child syndrome" already in effect....

There was something else I was going to rant about but I'm so tired I'm typing blind and both my eyes have fused into one focal point... um....... blog later when insha'allah I am functional again...

Last night I hardly slept; in fact from 4am onwards I didn't sleep a wink. My face ached with cold, my bump ached with, well, baby, and once or twice Boss hollered for me (you've heard him holler so you know it's not ignorable), which was quite annoying since he asked for his 'dummy back in his gob' when it was actually sitting beside afore-mentioned gob ready for immediate consumption and there was no need for my assistance at all. Grr.

So then we all 'wake up' at 7:30am and begin our merry dance of the day. By 11am both he and I are comatose - the type of tired when you can bounce off bricks walls and impale garden forks in your feet and not feel it for hours. I tried my hand at gardening. Well, actually I tried my hand at clipping some stems off a shrub and re-planting them along a really thin area along our only line of defense against our neighbours. Who are nice people - ish - but have a habit of accosting my husband everytime he is in the garden and backbiting their in-laws for hours on end... which is haram, but he is such a nice man he will never tell them to call someone who cares, which means he hides in the house instead. Or tries to. You know, whenever he sees them he has a bad habit of muttering (to himself) "Oh God!" with such heartfelt sentiment that I feel really sorry for him. But yesterday Boss saw them walk in their garden too and Hubby said he felt a tad ashamed when Boss took one look at them and went "Oh God!" and trundled his truck to the other end of the garden. So I figure we need a new line in defense. If they can't see us they can't interact with us ;-)

What do you mean, yeah right?

Then we had the Mudpud thing, which I nearly didn't goto as Boss had started to develop a glaze in his eye which I felt could signal a tantrum later on, but we went anyway and he didn't do himself injustice - he remained in a good mood all day masha'allah. The craft thing went OK - he actually did some gluing and sticking which I was terribly proud of since I didn't have to force him to do it. Then he ran in circles for two hours. Then he kind of went everywhere Adam went since he is his hero. Then MummyAdam managed to get Boss to thread some pompoms on a thread (good grief I must hire her - and I do think she would make an excellent mother-in-law to my dear son :P). Then, the absolute best bit of the day for Boss, was when B, all by herself without co-ercion, said "M can have one of my crisps if he likes". Twice. Wow. What a nice girl. Boss looks up to her a lot too. She doesn't cry if he tries to gerot her. Which is always an advantage for a Boss friend.

I am surprised he didn't stalk Ammi as he pretty much talks about her all day, but I think he is playing hard to get for a while.

Then we came home and he acted like a hooligan in the garden with the nice 6 year old girl from next door who also doesn't mind his antics, but he trampled my flowers and laughed like a lunatic. No reasoning with him. *rolls eyes*

That's right - I *don't* intend to send my kids to school and here's another reason WHY


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